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Learning To Say “No” As Part Of Better Self-Care

There are too many nice people in the world today…or so it might seem, with the number of “yes” folks you run into. As a child, we were raised to be considerate to others, and to accommodate them as much as possible. As adults, we are having to learn self care without guilt as a result.

How do you know exactly when enough is enough? And more importantly, are you saying no to yourself by saying yes to others every time?

These five indicators below are a good start to identifying boundaries and mental health red flags, and when saying “no” might be required.

Feeling Stressed or Overwhelmed

Is self care selfish
Is self-care selfish? Absolutely not. You have to fill your own cup before you can fill anyone else’s.

Not being able to say no can greatly contribute to elevated stress and overwhelmed feelings. Overwhelming feelings can cause or add to chronic stress. People who cannot say no are usually the first to fall victim.

It is important to understand your own boundaries and limitations. While helping others is important, you have to take care of yourself first.

This means sometimes saying no to friends and family is healthy and required, in order to maintain an optimal level of health and wellness for yourself.

Feelings of Obligation

We need boundaries at work too, especially in the remote working environment. Planning and sticking to a schedule can help with this.

This is by far the most common cause of resentment in persons, since they are basically “forced” top say yes whether or not they want to. Maybe the person asking did a major favor for you in life, maybe it is a family member or a dependent.

You feel a sense of obligation to always be on beck and call for whatever that person requests of you, but you need to ask yourself “when is my bill paid in full?” Will you continue to feel a forced sense of obligation forever?

You need to put yourself first, by not taking on more than you really want to handle or deal with out of a place of unrealistic guilt.

This constant obligatory situation builds resentment, and resentment can literally make you physically ill! To avoid these kinds of situations, communicate your needs clearly, honestly and empathetically. After clear communication, if your needs aren’t respected and are met with argument causing self-doubt, it might be time to end the relationship, or take a break until your feeling better and less overwhelmed.

Not Speaking Up

When arguments arise in relationships as a result of healthy boundary setting, seeking counseling or separating might be required to support mental health.

There have undoubtedly been numerous times when you sit quietly while something (or someone) boils your blood to the point of an eruption, yet you show no outward emotions. This can range from a boss berating you in the office, a bully, or a random stranger who finds it appropriate to assert their dominance over you. Holding these situations in, or gossiping about the problem to others instead of communicating the situation directly welcomes stress and low vibrational energy into your life.

By allowing it, you are doing just that, rolling over and assuming the fetal position. Communicate your needs, stand in your self-respect and speak for what you believe in. You can communicate your needs in a polite and strong way, while still leaving an invitation for communication and understanding. If the receiver choses not to acknowledge, you can feel confident in knowing you communicated your needs and left room for understanding.

Enabling Bad Behavior

Not setting boundaries in your relationships shows a lack of respect, not only for yourself but others too. Give people an opportunity to change and learn. If nothing else, you provide an opportunity to salvage the relationship, if they don’t reciprocate, that’s ok. Knowing you did your part builds self-confidence and opens the heart.

It has happened to all of us before, from a kid asking for something over and over, hearing no and slowly breaking you down, to much worse influences on your life such as toxic relationships at work, home or with friends.

When you say no, it needs to stay that way. You will gain infinite respect and your ability to take care of yourself will be looked at as a pillar of strength. Your children will learn by example and will be able to identify when to tell others no, setting the example for healthy relationships earlier in life.

Boundaries can produce earthquakes (literally!) in relationships where they were non-existent. Navigating boundary setting with the people closest to you, can often be the most challenging task. Stress management is a helpful tool when navigating setting boundaries.

Maximize your Self-Care Regimen

Taking time for yourself for reflection and relaxation is a great first step in creating boundaries. Meditation, Reiki, journaling or doing something that you love should be scheduled in weekly for optimal mental health.

Self-care improves mental health, which helps you maximize on your energy to support setting and maintaining healthy boundaries in your life. Each week, I make sure to set aside time for self care Sunday. During this time, I like to journal, and plan out my “Me” time each week. To establish trust and confidence within ourselves, dedicating space to our own healing is necessary. How we spend the time we have alone is important. Be intentional.

Conclusion

Reiki is a practice of channeling universal life force energy. A Japanese relaxation technique provided by an attuned practitioner provides space for relaxation and healing at a cellular level.

NO is not a bad word. It has been criminalized via society and the illusion that things must be ok all the time. You will only end up resenting yourself for being weak, and not ever doing what you want to do by allowing others to always walk over you. You need to look after yourself before you look after anyone else after all, lead by example!

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Do You Have an Entrepreneurial Mindset?

Have you ever thought about starting your own business, but “stuff” just got in your way? There are several ways to tell if you have this entrepreneurial mindset. Moreover, there are just as many ways to clear the road to becoming an entrepreneur.

Entrepreneur Personality Traits & Characteristics:

  • Leadership qualities such as project management and initiative.
  • Creative and out-of-the box thinking.
  • A desire for doing more than just a “job”
  • Planning & budgeting skills

If you show these qualities and have an idea for a business, but need support navigating the steps to achieving entrepreneurship, these tips below will help map out your entrepreneurial vision to make a plan.

Self-Discovery with Reiki often leads to individuals finding their passion and ignites the confidence to achieve it. Getting clear on what and how you want to achieve your new business, starts by building the road to success.

How to Clear the Road toward Entrepreneurial Success

Going from the nine to five grind to the entrepreneurial spirit may not be the easiest path, but it is something you can achieve. However, there are several steps you need to take before forging head first into business ownership.

Get Clear

Getting clear on what it is you want to achieve is an integral first step. It is not as simple as coming up with an idea and writing it down, you have to write down your goals, but even more importantly, you have to break them down. Being specific is not an option; it is mandatory. You need to have clear, specific goals when it comes to starting a new business.

Create a Plan

Once you are clear on what your goal for your new business is, you have to create a plan for success. Write down what your goal is, how you will achieve that goal in smaller steps and then break that list down even further.

A good goal must be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. This process is also known as SMART goal setting. By getting in the habit of setting goals using the SMART method, you will have a better chance at overall success.

Take Action

Next, it is time to take action steps. Action steps need more than just thinking about them. Declare aloud what your actions steps are. Find accountability partners or coaches to help you navigate and provide a sounding board. Booking a self-discovery session or sharing your plans with a close and trusted friend, will help you put some action behind your plan and build accountability.

Delegate

If you are starting a new business of your own, do not be afraid to delegate tasks! Allow family members and friends to help take the load off somewhere else while you learn all you need to know about your new business endeavor! In addition to asking for help, learning to say ‘no’ so you can better manage your time will be necessary.

Letting Go

Sometimes, in order to create something new, we need to let go of something old. In order to clear the path and expand capacity while creating a new business, some things may not be a good fit in your life any more. You may have to let go of old ideas, relationships or activities so that you can expand in to your new role, but the discovery of self is so worth it and leads to greater manifestation power!

accomplished self-discovery to lead to entrepreneurship

Finding the time to invest into yourself and your business venture is essential for success. On the journey to finding your first customer or client, following the steps above can make time management more achievable. Balance in all things is what leads to the greatest success overall!

If this seems a bit overwhelming or you’re not sure where to start, booking a Self-Discovery session with Reiki can help you identify and embody your unique energetic design and release any energetic blockages that might be holding you back from success. Book a session today to start walking in the highest version on yourself and begin manifesting your dreams!

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5 Natural Ways To Reduce Stress

Stress is everybody’s business. You could think you have it under control, but the truth is that stress has a way of creeping up on you, and causing drastic health repercussions. We have undergone so much change, trauma and immense stress as a society in the last couple of years. This constant and ongoing stress requires our stress hormone, cortisol, to work over time.

We have undergone so much change, trauma and immense stress as a society in the last couple of years. This constant and ongoing stress requires our stress hormone, cortisol, to work over time.

The body’s stress reaction was designed to be called into play when human’s survival was threatened, not when he, she or they were overwhelmed with piling tasks, family stress, a changing work environment and a new approach to living.

Today, regardless of what your stressor is, to help regulate your immune system and stay in optimal health to fight off infection or disease finding natural ways to reduce stress is essential for long-term sustainable health. Even if you are currently struggling with underlying health concerns, stress reduction & self-care will help relieve some physical demands from the body, to help you recover and heal.

Try the following tips for natural stress relief:

1. Try Reiki Energy Healing

Reiki is a Japanese technique for stress-reduction and relaxation. Reiki energy, or Universal-life force energy is administered by “laying on hands” from a Reiki practitioner. Reiki is very simple, yet powerful and can be easily learned by anyone through training and attunement. Reiki relaxation can release toxins that have been stored in the body. During and after a Reiki session, those toxins may be released along with feelings and thought patterns that are no longer serving your highest version of self.

Reiki aids in emotional healing, harnessing personal power & generational healing through time & space. Each practitioner has a unique approach to Reiki and the energy can be applied in numerous ways.

Book a Distance (Virtual) or In-Person Reiki Session by a trained and attuned Reiki practitioner.

Reaching our goals and maintaining our relationships can become challenging if we don’t have a good idea of our highest-self.

2. Self-Discovery & Self-Care

We often lose sight of taking time for ourselves, especially in states of high stress. It is so easy to get tied down by our obligations and responsibilities, that we forget to take time to enjoy being with ourselves. For some, discovering who you are and what you are passionate about is something that you might not have thought about for a long time.

Being a parent, an employee, a daughter, brother, cousin, partner, friend can all become so much. Reaching our goals and maintaining our relationships can become challenging if we don’t have a good idea of our highest-self.

Book a Self-Discovery Mini Session to tap in to your true purpose.

3. Exercise

Body movement can regulate emotional wellbeing and reduce the negative physical side effects from stress. It elevates levels of beneficial brain chemicals, known as endorphins, which elevate mood and promote relaxation by countering stress at a cellular level. Exercise also increases testosterone levels, connecting us with our divine masculine (which is found in everyone regardless of sexual assignment or identification). This increase in testosterone also shares an inverse relationship with cortisol (as one goes up, the other goes down).

Yoga is a great mind/body movement practice. Read more about How Yoga Alleviates Stress Related Conditions And Body Aches.

Keep practicing mindfulness & your brain will create new pathways for problem solving, reducing stress and increasing happiness.

4. Meditate

Stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline increase blood pressure and heart rate, while “feel good” chemicals such as serotonin, which are released in a state of relaxation and work to repair cells. Understanding how to clear your mind to reduce stress will help you get the most out of not only Reiki & exercise, but will help you develop in critical thinking and problem solving as well, making stressful situations easier to process when they arise.

Meditative walking can help bring the mind and the body in sync while simultaneously moving energy through the body. When out walking, it is almost second nature for our mind to be somewhere else. Next time you go out for a walk, keep your mind focused on your breathe, in and out. Focus on your body and what you are feeling as you are walking. At first, it might be difficult for your mind not to wander, but just notice that your thoughts traveled and bring them back to your body for as long as you can. Keep practicing mindfulness & your brain will create new pathways for problem solving, reducing stress and increasing happiness.

To learn more about meditation, check out my article The Health Advantages Of And Medical Conditions Helped By Meditation.

5. Laugh And Have A Good Time

Laughter is the best medicine after all, as it can do miracles, ranging from reducing blood pressure, mediating pain responses, and helping to manage the negative effects of the stress hormone cortisol.

Stressed individuals rarely take time out to smile and have fun, which only feeds the flames of a downward spiral. Make time for memories, have fun with friends & chosen family and don’t take yourself too seriously.

Pink Sesh Ambassadors – @cannabish_michigan@codename_jayy@tmcollab

Join a community or group of like-minded people. One of my favorite ways to reduce stress is by spending time with other women who enjoy cannabis & plant-medicine as a way to relax! The photo above is from our co-hosted Crystal Wand Workshop with The Pink Sesh!

These five ideas are just a start to taking your power back and not letting stress control your life or your health. Reiki energetic healing is a great way to start opening yourself up to dedicating time to relaxation at a spiritual level, allowing space for discovery of self. Your healing starts with gratitude and shows up in abundance.

Book a session today to step towards the highest version of self.

The Matriarch Collaborative

How to Beat Self-Doubt & Insecurities to Become the Best Version of Yourself

One of the most limiting energies a person can struggle with in this life is self-doubt. It has the ability to keep you feeling locked away in a prison of your own insecurities. It can suffocate your ability to explore and be free in your most authentic spirit to engage with opportunities and adventures.

The frog is the singer of songs. He stands for cleansing, transformation, understanding emotions & rebirth. When the frog comes into your life, you are being nudged to actively look for opportunities. This awakening will bring greater abundance.

Self-doubt can become crippling. Often a result of ongoing or chronic trauma or long term exposure to low vibrational energy, insecurities can cause paralysis in it’s host. People who struggle with self-doubt often are often not pursuing their passions, or they have dismissed them all together. When insecurities have escalated to such a point, where someone has given up on even considering any level of freedom regarding their own choices. Many people suffering with self-doubt, may feel as if life is happening to them and don’t often feel as if life is something we have the power to create with our own energy!

This is a terrible place to find ourselves in and it can cause a person to live a life that has been massively limited by the illusory constructs that have been formed in their mind. Fortunately, though, with a little work and the right amount of determination there is something that we can do to conquer this.

Dominating Doubt

Doubt itself, is a low energy vibration. It is fighting against our positive energies, creative ideas and acts of kindness. It is something that denounces and turns down any thoughts of positive or action-inspiring suggestion. It can result in negative self-talk that is demotivating self-destructive. If left unchecked, doubt becomes a mindset that can keep a person completely closed off from the world and tapped out of positive inspiration. It can keep a person confined to a self-centered and destructive ego.

Crystal Wand Workshops help individuals try a new activity and overcome self-doubt and insecurity in creation and in social environments. Workshop attendees are encourages to strengthen communication skills in tool and approach sharing, problem solving and creation ideation as a group.

In order to dominate doubt we must first desire to do so. If we do not have the desire to at least investigate the ability to overcome doubt, then we will not find a solution. The answer comes from within the individual and a choice to see the opportunities in the challenges they are presented with is a personal decision.

Someone who is struggling to take this power back, can shadow and project their insecurity and doubt of self onto other around them creating a contagion of negative energy. People who are having trouble finding their own joy, might find fault or blame in the people around them as a way to escape responsibility for their misery. Or they might become unsupportive of the success in others as a result of not having the confidence to pursue their own passions.

Without having made the choice to do this, without having personally decided that they want to become more positive, more inspiring and more encouraging, we cannot rely on other to fix this problem for us.

The Argument of Doubt

The main argument that people offer to encourage their own self-doubt is that they have either never been able to, or never witnessed something happen. For example, if you try to encourage a person to become a confident public speaker and they harbor massive amounts of internal self-doubt, they will argue that they have never been able to speak confidently in public before and so they just think that from their own point of view, it cannot be done.

In all cases of self-doubt, a person is living with a mindset that has experienced great limitation somewhere in the past. This might be something that has been conditioned in them by a toxic or unhealthy environment, it can be the sign of a mindset conditioned for scarcity or someone who doesn’t believe there are good things available to them in this life.

Creation & Self Discovery to Cure Self-Doubt

At the point that someone gets fed up with living in a powerless mindset, many will seek help to get back on track. There are many strategies to building and boosting confidence. To start, learning who you are at a characteristic level and learning to love your shadow-self is a great place to start. Everyone struggles with traits or personality defets that they wish they could change. Approaching the process of self-discovery in an attempt to understand your whole self is a great starting point in eliminating self-doubt. Learning to love your whole self build confidence and inspires creation.

Creationism is completely and intimately personal. It is inspirational, encouraging, motivating, it is creating and producing and freeing. It is everything that self-doubt is not.

Here is quick shot of my before helping people overcome self-doubt through self-discovery oracle readings and crystal wand making at a local event! Book a virtual session to start your creation today.

Creation works for all kinds of self-doubt and insecurity because it has the effect of contradicting and opposing every form that self-doubt or insecurity takes through confidence building activities and problem solving. We intimately prove the self-doubting limitation wrong by completing tasks through creation that we didn’t know we were capable of, and eventually the mind learns a newer and more positive way of thinking about things, because it has witnessed firsthand the undoing of every single one of its limiting, doubting thoughts.

In order to do this we must either show or create a case for the opposite. We need proof. Show yourself the opposite of your own self-doubt by creating and building something that will bring you joy. Investigate and encourage yourself to try your very best to achieve or to witness or experience the very thing that your mind doubts.

Commit yourself to the challenge of proving every single one of your doubts wrong, and if you can do this, you will slowly re-program your mind to be able to achieve anything that you could possibly want to achieve.

Conquer the limitations of your doubts and you become a purely positive, inspirational, creative force of life on this planet earth.

Sit with your doubting mind however, and you will begin to fester in a world of negativity, opposition, and argument for all things limiting. I know which path I would rather choose.

Now the choice is up to you!

The Benefits of Keeping a Journal

Journaling is an amazingly effective way to heal and release difficult ideas and emotions.  Without this release, many times this negative energy can be built up over time causing depression, anxiety or body aches and pains.  Here are some ways that using a journal can be a helpful tool in maintaining your mental health.
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Stress Relief
Releasing your thoughts, feelings and emotions into words on paper doesn’t seem like much, but it is a safe space for you to express yourself without any judgement from others.  I also use my journal as my to-do list.  It is a great way to stay organized.  There are many different approaches to using a journal and there is really no right nor wrong way.  You just have to find what is effective for you.
I enjoy keeping everything in one journal.  This gives me the ability to look back and reflect on different points in my life and I can get the whole picture.  I can see what projects I was working on and where my mindset was at the time.  Reflecting back on your journals can be a great way for you to realize the progress you have made and help you stay on track to achieve your goals both personally and professionally.
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Help With Anxiety
If you struggle with any form of anxiety, whether it is constant worry, generalized anxiety disorder, or severe panic attacks, you know that it can come on suddenly and without warning.
However, it is possible that there are certain events or situations that are leading to the anxiety and that it isn’t always quite as random as you thought. By having the journal and recording your moods and daily lifestyle, you can actually pinpoint what tends to cause the panic attacks.
It might be when you have work stress or when you are around a particular person who seems to draw out the anxiety in you. It can also be due to certain foods or drinking a lot of alcohol or caffeine.
Finding Your Depression Triggers
Depression is also something that may happen at any time, but can also be triggered by someone or something. Some people have situational depression, where there is something that usually occurs to cause all of those depressive moods and feelings.
This is another thing you can determine by recording as much of your life as possible in a bullet journal. This journal is yours and should be private, because that allows you to feel free to record any emotions or feelings that you find necessary. Look back on it often to see if there are any patterns.
Journalling is such a great way to stay on track.  It encourages you to look inside for happiness.  It allows you to look back and see how far you have come.  It gives you the ability to organize your present thoughts and clearly plan the future.  If you are not using a journal, try using one for one month and evaluate the difference not only in  your day to day, but your overall well being too.
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How Yoga Alleviates Stress Related Conditions And Body Aches

Any situation the body perceives as dangerous or threatening triggers the stress or “fight or flight” response in the body. This threat may be overt physical danger or more subtle, dealing with interpersonal conflict such as a disagreement with a coworker or situational pressures, like coping with financial problems.
 
The body’s efforts to deal with a threatening situation cause a series of reactions. The heart accelerates to provide maximum oxygen levels to organs and cells. The muscles tighten and shorten to prepare for action, to maneuver through the situation, to fight or to flee from the danger. Adrenaline courses through the body heightening awareness and providing a quick burst of energy.
 
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A lacking self-care routine and an overwhelming amount of stress can lead to disease and burn-out.
 
The automatic stress response serves a purpose. It protects the body. However, chronic stress, remaining in a stress response state for a prolonged period of time, takes a negative toll on the body. It causes physical and psychological distress, which affects a person’s overall health and well-being.
 
Effects Of Stress
 
  • 43% of all adults suffer from health problems because of stress.
  • 75% to 90% of all doctor’s office visits are for stress-related ailments and complaints.
  • Stress is a key contributor to heart disease, headaches, body aches, high blood pressure, diabetes, skin conditions, asthma, arthritis, anxiety, and depression.
  • The 50% prevalence of any emotional disorder is typically due to untreated stress.
  • The Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) reports that stress is a significant hazard in the workplace and results in costs of over $300 billion annually.
Symptoms of chronic stress related to the continuous release of stress hormones and an elevated metabolism:
 
  • The digestive system may experience stress as stomach aches, nausea, and intestinal irritability.
  • Mentally, a person under chronic stress may experience racing thoughts, unreasonable worrying, lack of focus and disorganization and pessimism.
  • Loss of quality sleep.
  • A person under chronic stress also displays emotional and behavioral markers of the condition. They may become irritable, experience feelings of overwhelm, anxiety, depression and low self-esteem.
  • Stress associated behaviors, overeating or undereating, avoidance and displaying nervous behaviors like nail biting and pacing emerge under chronic stress.
  • Stress related aches and pains could occur in different parts of the body. When the muscles shorten or tighten to prepare for action within the stress response then remain that way, it causes aches and pains in different parts of the body.
  • Where muscular tension presents itself while under stress varies from one person to another. Some people may clench or tighten their jaw causing pain and discomfort in this area and possibly across the forehead and scalp. Other people hold tension in the shoulders and neck. Some people may find themselves experiencing chronic backaches.
How Yoga Can Help With Stress Related Aches And Conditions
 
Essentially, yoga acts as a therapeutic antidote to stress; it provides physical, mental, and emotional relief to people experiencing chronic stress. Relief occurs during the actual yoga practice and the benefits continue to present beyond sessions when a person practices yoga consistently.
 
Yoga poses ease stress related aches and pains due to muscular tension. The yoga poses stretch, lengthen, strengthen, and relax tense muscles. The meditation and breathing exercises calm the mind and the nervous system. They also allow a person to reestablish mental focus and clarity during and following practice.
 
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The breath work and poses practiced during yoga elicit the relaxation response in the body, which helps to decrease and regulate stress hormones.
 
It is also important to note that yoga has a profound effect on various aspects of one’s health, including the ability to lower blood pressure, prevent heart disease, help regulate blood sugars in diabetes, and decrease anxiety, all of which are commonly seen with chronic stress.
 
How To Utilize Yoga To Manage Stress
 
If one intends to develop a yoga practice as part of a stress management plan, consistency is key to success. Yoga provides progressive therapy.
 
The poses reshape and improve the health and functionality of the muscles, the joints and organs over time; it is a form of training and as with any training, regular practice sets the stage for progress.
 
This also applies to the meditative and relaxation exercises associated with the practice. According to Dr. Debra Fulghum Bruce, PhD, recent studies show as little as three months of weekly yoga practice, relieves stress related headaches, backaches, reduces stress, and lowers cortisol (stress hormone) secretions. It also lowers blood pressure and improves participant’s mood.
 
Practicing yoga has been shown to relieve the immediate symptoms of stress related aches, pains, mental distress, and negative emotional states. It also appears to effectively counter the fight or flight stress response by lowering cortisol levels and teaching the mind to observe (through meditation) rather than react to situations. People experiencing chronic stress can benefit greatly from incorporating a yoga practice in their health regimen.
 
You can begin with yoga by joining a class that is led by a qualified instructor or by checking out videos online.
 
self-discovery, wellness,  yoga, reiki, healing self, self-healing, holistic, self-care, reiki is, depression, mom-self
 
 
 
 

A Guide For Women: Finding “Me” Time

They say a woman’s work is never done. A hectic work schedule, combined with trying to balance other areas of your life, may lead to you feeling like you are spinning too many plates in the air at once.
With kids, family, work, chores, and the many responsibilities that we have to fulfill, there never seems to be enough time to let alone think about, never mind fulfill our own needs or desires.
This can lead to women experiencing depression, anxiety, or just a general feeling that you are worn out. Besides how it affects us personally, being worn out also means that your performance and attentiveness to all you have to do will suffer. Irritation becomes common, as we feel overwhelmed and unable to deal with the stressors of the day.
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Everyone is different, and each individual has different ideas about how to find time to for ‘me’. This is a guide to how make some ‘me’ time. The solutions below are not the only ones but may give you some ideas of how to find space and time in your life.
Utilize The Time You Have
If you have errands to run or appointments to keep but find yourself early or waiting around in your car, make use of the time. For example, read a book or practice meditation. These two activities require a certain amount of tranquility and peace, so why not use your window of opportunity to do this. Of course, you could just listen to some music and relax.
Alternatively, if you were in a more productive mood you could just catch up on paperwork that you have to do. This is your time; you can do with it what you wish. By carrying out this task now, you are freeing up time at a later date.
Make A Date With Yourself (And Keep It!)
Once a week, take time to do the things you like to do alone. To do this you need to learn to say no to the people in your life, or learn to delegate your duties to someone else (mainly talking childcare here people!). This will enable you to have some time to relax.
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Go and grab a drink somewhere, get some exercise, or even just disappear to another part of the house. Anything you can think of to do that would enable you to free up space in that busy head of yours.
Treat Yourself
This can simply be an extension of the previous where you make a date with yourself. Once a month, go treat yourself, this can be anything you wish, such as shopping, a spa day, a movie, or even just spending time with your friends.  Check for local meetups to find classes and workshops going over some things you may be interested in.
You would think that these tips on finding ‘me’ time would be obvious. However, this time can often be difficult to find. A 2014 UK study looking at working mothers found 51% of them went weeks without relaxing on their own.
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When further questioned, nearly 75% of the 2000 women felt they lived their whole lives for other people. Some women are lucky enough to have partners and family to rely on to take the strain; others are not so fortunate. However, there are still things you can do to make time in your life.
Learn to Say No
No, means setting boundaries and limiting what you will or are willing to do in a single day or week. This may mean having to say no to some things, but considering how much your wellness matters, it may be well worth it.
The best tip you all need to know is…
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Be Organized
By planning your day and week you can identify opportunities for ‘me’ time. Making lists and looking at your week would help you to see those times where gaps appear in your schedule. Organization can be the key to doing this.  If you are looking for some creative ways to get organized, check out our article on bullet journaling.
The more you practice doing this the more you will learn where you can fit things in. It could be as simple as going for a walk for 20 minutes.
On that walk, take a look at the world around you. We live in beautiful world, whether it is a flower or a smile on a person’s face. It is all there for us, you just need to be able to see it.
When you create space in your life, you can find yourself again.  As mother’s, wives and career women, we have so much pressure on ourselves.  The least we can do if find some time for ourselves to ensure we are in top notch shape to kick ass and take names on the daily.  If you are interested in local events, The Matriarch Collaborative is currently offering events in the US for women looking for a break.  To learn more about our events, become a member at this link.
Now go get yourself some ‘me’ time.

Why Holistic Medicine?

Our overall health and well-being is the result of the interaction between four major elements.

  1. physical,
  2. environmental,
  3. emotional, and
  4. psychological

Focusing healing on mind, body and spirit is what makes holistic medicine effective. It is an integrative approach to health that uses alternative, as well as conventional medicine and studies all aspects of a person’s life.

The goal is to achieve an unlimited and unimpeded free flow of life force energy through body, mind, and spirit.

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The Four Main Components of Holistic Health

1. The individual’s innate healing powers.

Holistic medicine teaches that the body has an innate capacity to heal itself. For this reason, it wants to promote and encourage this naturally occurring healing by using different treatments and methods.

In addition, it believes that the best way to maintain good health is by preventing illnesses in the first place. This is not just better for the body, but it is also cost-effective. Adopting good habits to improve wellness and prevent diseases is less taxing on the body than overcoming an illness.

To nurture the body’s capacity to heal itself, holistic medicine seeks to promote overall health instead of just treating a set of symptoms. In this case, good health goes beyond the absence of illness. It aims at achieving the best possible quality of life in the physical, emotional, mental and social aspects.

2. There is more to the individual than a disease.

For holistic medicine, illness is the result of an imbalance or dysfunction of the individual. In addition, one way to treat this imbalance is to change the effects of negative emotions, experiences, habits, and memories. In other words, a holistic physician encourages patients to explore the effects of emotions and experience on their health and to unburden themselves of harmful emotions and thoughts

Consequently, positive emotions and feelings like love, enthusiasm, and hope may help to restore the balance and bring the patient closer to well-being.

In this case, a disease is an opportunity for individuals to learn more and improve themselves. Moreover, for physicians, each patient is a new opportunity to practice unconditional love and guide a person in the unique path towards wellness.

2. Healing takes a team approach.

An important part of the physicians’ job is to educate and empower each individual so they can make informed decisions about their health and treatment.

Education is an important task for the physician. To promote wellness, the patient needs to incorporate healthful habits under the guidance and encouragement from the doctor.

For example, the physician may guide the patient towards adopting a healthier diet, incorporating exercise, or seeking counseling.

Patient and physician work as a team to restore well-being. So evidently, the relationship between patient and doctor is supportive and collabortive. In this ideal relationship, the physician listens and respects the patients’ needs, opinions and insights. And the patient is not a passive agent in her own health. Instead, she is encouraged to make her own decisions.

Another important aspect of a positive doctor-patient relationship in holistic medicine is the use of different treatments.

For some people, holistic medicine is not different from homeopathy or naturopathy. However, there is a difference.

4. Fixing the causes of disease and not just the symptoms.

The integral approach of holistic medicine to well-being allows it to go deeper into the health problems of the patient, well beyond the physical symptoms of one illness.

Getting to the root of the issue also ensures the patient may find long-term health and prevents more episodes of the illness in the future.

If you are interesting in learning more about holistic health and your innate healing powers, you can try Reiki healing by booking a sessions with our Reiki practitioner, Katie Armstrong.

4 Key Steps To Developing A More Positive Mindset

Negativity can discourage us, add to our stress, put a strain on our relationships, make us less productive, and reduce our overall happiness. Positivity, on the other hand, has many benefits across our lives in terms of our health, relationships, and careers.
But, how do you become more positive? Is it really that simple?
Here are four key steps to help you to develop a more positive mindset:
1.  Keep a journal
If you have a negative internal dialogue constantly keeping you down, you need to take action to banish these thoughts. If you have difficulty identifying this negativity within your own mind, a simple first action can be keeping a thought journal. Write down a random sample of thoughts you say in your own mind about yourself, events, people around you and other things that happen throughout your day.
Then analyze these thoughts by reading the journal every night and establishing your thought patterns.
Do certain events trigger your negative thoughts? Take note of these and the next time you are faced with a similar triggering situation, think more carefully about how you are approaching it.
One of my favorite ways to stay mindful and positive is with by Bullet Journal.  To learn more about bullet journaling and how you can utilize the practice to reduce stress, check out my article Intro to Bullet Journaling.
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2. Banish negative self-talk
After keeping track of your thoughts for a week or two, you will soon notice how consuming your negative thoughts potentially are. The next step is to banish these all together. Next time you go to write down a negative thought in your thought journal, try to rephrase it to that it becomes a neutral statement.
For example, “John forgot to take out the trash again so I had to do it and it ruined my evening” could become “John forgot to take out the trash. I did it.” This is a small but effective way to train yourself.
Don’t just do this exercise on paper in your journal; begin to rephrase your negative thoughts into neutral ones in your mind.
3.  See the positive side
It can be incredibly challenging for many people to jump straight from negative thoughts into positive ones, which is why that neutral-thought stage is so crucial. By banishing negative self-talk, you are now in a great position to genuinely see the positives, in different situations.
Refer back to your thought journal and particularly examine the negative thoughts you have had. Putting aside all of the things you so obviously dislike about that thing, try to think of at least one positive.
For example, if you dislike your boss because they speak badly to you, think about the way that you are actually developing more resilience and ‘thicker skin’ by being in that situation, which is a positive result from a bad situation.
It can be hard to find benefits within challenging circumstances, but there is always a way to see something good.
As the Dalai Lama once famously said, “See the positive side, the potential, and make an effort.” Sometimes a lot of effort might be required, but it’s worth it!
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4.  Keep a gratitude journal
A gratitude journal is an incredible way to take stock of all of the wonderful things around you. Every evening write down all of the things in your day, and life more generally, that you are grateful for.
Perhaps you are grateful to your friends for their support, for the warm bed you are able to sleep in, or for the great weather you had that day. Write it all down.
If someone gives you a compliment that you appreciated on any particular day or said something very thoughtful, write it down in your gratitude journal too. Then when you find yourself being negative or critical, open up the journal and read over all of the positive things in your life that make you feel grateful.
This is a sure-fire way to re-ground you, make you gain perspective and make you realize how insignificant that particular trigger may be in the larger scheme of things. Context is important, so keep shifting your mind towards the positive.
Stay grateful.
Final Conclusion
Practicing these four simple thoughts can help you to transform the way that you perceive the world around you. Positive perception has the power to change your life, improving your attitudes and the ways that you respond to stress triggers.
Be patient and keep working at positivity, as it has so many benefits for your life, so make the most of it!
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5 Natural Ways To Improve Your Sleep

Getting a good night’s sleep can be refreshing and rejuvenating. For millions, though, a good night’s sleep seems just out of reach. People of all ages across the globe suffer from occasional to chronic insomnia.
Insomnia is a condition that interrupts your ability to fall asleep or stay asleep. If you are suffering from this sleep disturbance, you may be hesitant to turn to harsh medications to help you fall asleep. Here are 5 ways that you can help improve your sleep naturally.
Eliminate Caffeine
The morning cup of coffee seems to be a staple beverage for many people. However, caffeine is not just in coffee. Caffeine can be hiding in the cola you drink, the tea, and even some of the foods you eat. While eliminating caffeine out of your diet 100% may not be possible, try to limit your consumption of caffeine to the mornings only. Prevention Magazine tells us that ingesting caffeine, even 6 hours before bedtime, can disrupt sleep.
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Exercise
Not only does exercise help you maintain a healthy body weight and better mental outlook but a Sleep Foundation study found that those who exercised were less sleepy during the day and slept better at night.
While a new exercise routine may leave you a little tired at first, regular exercise will give you more energy and help you fall asleep at bedtime. This may have to do with the chemicals released by the body when you exercise. The neurotransmitters released by the brain during exercise have all sorts of beneficial properties and improved sleep is one of them.
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Meditate
Meditation has a restorative effect on the brain. There are all sorts of benefits that meditation can have for a person. Many of the benefits of meditation include reduced stress and a better ability to cope with difficult issues in one’s life.
Meditation is also great for insomnia. A Harvard study found that mindful meditation helped combat insomnia. It invokes a relaxation response in those who participate in helping them relax enough to fall asleep quickly and stay asleep through the night. If you are not familiar with how to meditate there are many guided meditation audio programs that you can buy or check out from your library.
You can learn more about meditation and its benefits by checking out my article The Health Advantages Of And Medical Conditions Helped By Meditation.
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Sleep Hygiene
Sleep hygiene is a practice to help you sleep better at night. It has to do with environmental cues. Alaska sleep notes that these environmental cues should be taken into consideration if you aren’t sleeping.
  • Use the bedroom for sex and sleep only
  • No electronics
  • Keep the room dark and quiet
  • Keep your room cool
  • Have a good mattress
  • Set your alarm clock away from your bed

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Get Up Every Morning
Getting up at the same time every day and avoiding naps helps your body follow a circadian rhythm. According to Verywell, we need this to sleep well at night. There are two really important elements to this step.
  1. Stop hitting the snooze and train yourself to get up at the same time every day. If you hit the snooze button once or twice (or 6 times), you are not really training yourself to get up at the same time every day. If you know you do not need to get up until a7:30, stop setting your alarm for 7. Save yourself the 30 minutes of interrupted sleep and set the alarm for 7:30, get up the first time it rings.
  2. NO NAPS. If you are not used to getting up in the morning, then this may be the hard part for you. Napping can throw you off for sleeping at night because you simply are not tired enough to get to bed on time. Skip the nap (and the caffeine), and stay up so that you can get a good night’s sleep.

Supplements

Heart & Body Naturals is my go to for supplements.  They offer such amazing products like CBD and Hemp Oil that has been shown in studies to help support sleep.  Superfood supplements can also be really  helpful as they bring all of the goods from natural foods that you aren’t actually eating each day.

I don’t know about you, but  my diet rarely meets the requirements of the food pyramid.  By using superfood supplements, you can make sure you and your kids get all of the natural nutrients the body needs which helps promote health sleep.  Learn more about it by clicking here.

Bio Minerals are also a great way to supplement your body with the nutrients it needs to promote a more natural sleep cycle.  Heart & Body Naturals has an AMAZING lotion that you apply to your thighs, neck, shoulders and chest about 20 minutes before you are ready for bed.  It is jam packed with 300mg of Magnesium per teaspoon and will have you snoozing as well as your husband 😉  Check out more information about the Sleep Magnesium Lotion by clicking here.  

Now you have an arsenal of information that should help you fall asleep faster at night. Remember, finding what works well for you may take some playing around. So, if you don’t get it right the first night or two don’t give up.
These sleep strategies are proven to work. They just take time. Give them a few weeks and you should be sleeping soundly.
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